Jiminator

You forgot one

Strap your puter to the fan blade on a 3gigawatt electrical wind turbine,
at least it will help generate some electricity.


"Tiberius" <James@tiberius.kirk> wrote in message
news:Og1WTRSnHHA.1776@TK2MSFTNGP05.phx.gbl...
> 1. drop it off the empire state building, you will have g accelaretion
> minus air friction. Use an aerodynamic case.
> 2. Stuff it inside a nuclear cannon and pull the trigger.
> 3. Place on top of a Saturn 3 stage rocket and hurl it into space
> 4. Place it inside the CERN particle accelerator
> 5. Send it inside a black hole where it will accelerate close to the speed
> of light
> 6. Place it inside a small time machine, so that its time continuum is
> faster than ours
> 7. Take your vista and install it on the computer from the crashed Roswell
> UFO that is a trillion trillion teraflops,
> it will probably slow it to a crawl, but the dead aliens wont care much.
> 8. Freeze all humanity in hypothermic stasis using cryogenics until vista
> finished loading a program, then when its finished, thaw them. Vista will
> not really be faster, but at least you wont die waiting for it.
> 9. Kill yourself and let your ghost use vista, as a ghost time has no
> meaning,
> 10. Collide vista that is made of matter with anti-vista that is made from
> antimatter. The result will be an explosion were all matter is converted
> to pure energy in the form of gamma rays traveling at the speed of light.
> 11. Place Vista on top of a Tesla coil and step up the voltage to 100
> million volts. An electrical surge of all the static electricity in the
> stratosphere will surge through it and send it to the 5th dimension
> creating a teleporting effect similar to the one in the Philadelphia
> experiment.
> 12. Install XP and make it into a fake vista with themes and wallpapers...
> it will be 100% faster than the real horrid thing.
>
> -thank you
>
>
>
>