Good deal.

Alright, connect a standard microphone to that jack for now (we're going to start with just making sure this works, without getting into if it's an issue with a guitar). Then go to your sound settings in control panel. If you go to the "Recording" tab, you should see the image of a microphone. If you talk into the mic, or tap it, or blow into it or something, you should see little green bars going up and down. Does that happen?

Let me know if you need guidance to any part of that. I skipped steps, since you said I could.