to zachd [MSFT] :
Here is the exact error message I recieve on my Dell Inspiron 1501 with ATi Xpress hardware and Vista Basic 32-bit:
The file wmplayer.exe has a version number of 11.0.6000.6324 where 11.0.6000.6344 was expected. Windows Media Player is not installed properly and must be reinstalled. Do you want to install the Player from the Microsoft Website? [Yes] [No]
Clicking on yes takes you to this webpage:
Download Center
Which I find highly amusing considering you yourself said that trying to install Media Player on Vista is just banging your head against a wall. Good game, Microsoft.