Troubleshooting Internet Explorer

NormCameron

Vista Guru
Troubleshooting Internet Explorer
by Bill Shein
"It's hard to determine exactly what causes Internet Explorer to stop responding, but it's usually due to one of the following reasons."From Microsoft's Windows Error Reporting Web site
Reason One - Did you know that tiny gnomes run the machinery inside your computer? If Internet Explorer has stopped responding, it means the gnomes are on break, sidled up to the bar at the Heat Sink Café, lifting their tiny mugs of gnome ale and singing their cheery gnome songs. They'll return to work shortly. In the meantime, re-start Internet Explorer.
Reason Two - Even non-sentient computer software has limited tolerance for celebrity news sites, page after page of "stuff-on-my-cat" photos, YouTube videos of people being hit in the privates, and hours of scrolling through the world's most mundane blogs. If this describes your online activities, and Internet Explorer has stopped responding, the software is lodging a silent protest against your Web browsing habits. This is a helpful feature of Internet Explorer. You're welcome.
Reason Three - Remember the cup of coffee you spilled on your laptop last month? And how after it dried, your computer worked just fine? And that your IT guy said, "Wow. I've never seen anything like it. It's a miracle." So much of a miracle, in fact, that religious pilgrims flocked to your cubicle, weeping uncontrollably, asking you to touch their foreheads to heal their souls and touch their laptops to make Internet Explorer start responding? Well, the miracle is over. Time for a new laptop with Windows Vista (Service Pack 42). Hope you're not stuck with boxes of unsold "I Touched the Miracle Laptop" T-Shirts.
Reason Four - When Internet Explorer stops responding, for no apparent reason, while you are doing something important — like completing the eighth screen of an eight-screen-long mortgage application — Microsoft Corporation is just reminding you that it is all-knowing, all-powerful, and can crush you at any time. How do you like them apples? (Stop laughing so hard at those "I'm a Mac" ads; we're watching you.)
Reason Five - It hasn't stopped responding. It's just moving very, very slowly. Be patient. Life doesn't have to move so fast all the time, Speed Racer. Why not slow down and enjoy yourself? Get outside. Take a walk. Breathe. Get reacquainted with your spouse and children. No one on their death bed ever said, "I wish I had spent more time using Internet Explorer to watch puppies on a webcam."
Reason Six - It's moody. Hey, who isn't? Have you tried filling the computer's CD tray with antidepressants? (We resolved this moodiness in Internet Explorer 8, now in beta.) If that doesn't work, re-install Windows.
Reason Seven - It's supposed to stop responding, silly. Duh! It's all about expectations. If you don't expect Internet Explorer to work, and then it doesn't work, all will seem right with the world, yes? Take it from the Buddhists: Human suffering results from our irrational attachment to things that aren't even real, in this case to the idea that Internet Explorer should not simply "stop responding." Meditate quietly on this, and then re-start your computer.
Reason Eight - Did you run the diagnostic software included with your Windows installation CD? Did you remember to surround your computer with chicken bones and smear ox blood across the monitor? Ah ha! That's the problem. Be sure to smear the ox blood across your monitor before surrounding your computer with chicken bones. If this fails, collapse into the fetal position and remain there for several hours.
Reason Nine - Remember the tiny gnomes we met back in Reason One? The ones who were raising their even tinier mugs of ale at the Heat Sink Café? Well, they raised a few too many. Turn off your computer and try again tomorrow.


Reason Gone Mad by Bill Shein - Troubleshooting Internet Explorer (12/19/08)
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Scratch Built
    CPU
    Intel Quad Core 6600
    Motherboard
    Asus P5B
    Memory
    4096 MB Xtreme-Dark 800mhz
    Graphics Card(s)
    Zotac Amp Edition 8800GT - 512MB DDR3, O/C 700mhz
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Samsung 206BW
    Screen Resolution
    1680 X 1024
    Hard Drives
    4 X Samsung 500GB 7200rpm Serial ATA-II HDD w. 16MB Cache .
    PSU
    550 w
    Case
    Thermaltake
    Cooling
    3 x octua NF-S12-1200 - 120mm 1200RPM Sound Optimised Fans
    Keyboard
    Microsoft
    Mouse
    Targus
    Internet Speed
    1500kbs
    Other Info
    Self built.
LOL, that is great Norm. Thank you.
 

My Computers

System One System Two

  • Operating System
    Windows 10 Pro 64-bit
    Manufacturer/Model
    Custom
    CPU
    Intel i7-8700K 5 GHz
    Motherboard
    ASUS ROG Maximus XI Formula Z390
    Memory
    64 GB (4x16GB) G.SKILL TridentZ RGB DDR4 3600 MHz (F4-3600C18D-32GTZR)
    Graphics Card(s)
    ASUS ROG-STRIX-GTX1080TI-O11G-GAMING
    Sound Card
    Integrated Digital Audio (S/PDIF)
    Monitor(s) Displays
    2 x Samsung Odyssey G7 27"
    Screen Resolution
    2560x1440
    Hard Drives
    1TB Samsung 990 PRO M.2,
    4TB Samsung 990 PRO PRO M.2,
    8TB WD MyCloudEX2Ultra NAS
    PSU
    Seasonic Prime Titanium 850W
    Case
    Thermaltake Core P3
    Cooling
    Corsair Hydro H115i
    Keyboard
    Logitech wireless K800
    Mouse
    Logitech MX Master 3
    Internet Speed
    1 Gb/s Download and 35 Mb/s Upload
    Other Info
    Logitech Z625 speaker system,
    Logitech BRIO 4K Pro webcam,
    HP Color LaserJet Pro MFP M477fdn,
    APC SMART-UPS RT 1000 XL - SURT1000XLI,
    Galaxy S23 Plus phone
  • Operating System
    Windows 10 Pro
    Manufacturer/Model
    HP Envy Y0F94AV
    CPU
    i7-7500U @ 2.70 GHz
    Memory
    16 GB DDR4-2133
    Graphics card(s)
    NVIDIA GeForce 940MX
    Sound Card
    Conexant ISST Audio
    Monitor(s) Displays
    17.3" UHD IPS touch
    Screen Resolution
    3480 x 2160
    Hard Drives
    512 GB M.2 SSD
Thanks Norm I needed a good laugh.
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    HP Compaq Presario/SR5113WM
    CPU
    AMD Athlon 64 X2 3600+ 1.9Ghz
    Motherboard
    Asus M2N68-LA
    Memory
    PNY Optima Memory DDR2 2GB 2x1 kit
    Graphics Card(s)
    PNY Nvidia 8400 GS 256MB
    Sound Card
    On board RealTek
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Acer X163W LCD
    Screen Resolution
    1366x768
    Hard Drives
    Western Digital 160 GB SATA 3G (3.0Gb/sec)
    7200 rpm
    Western Digital 160 GB IDE
    PSU
    Dynex 400w
    Case
    Nothin Special
    Cooling
    Stock
    Keyboard
    Standard 102 key with volume and sleep buttons
    Mouse
    Wireless Logitech LX7
    Internet Speed
    Comcrap 10mb cable
    Other Info
    Insignia 2.1 speakers, wireless Xbox 360 controller w/plug n play charger, Belkin wireless G + mimo usb network adapter.
:cool: Brilliant, thanks for letting me know another mystery solved :p
 

My Computer

System One

  • Operating System
    Windows 10 Home
    Manufacturer/Model
    HP Envy x360 Convertible 15-bq0xx
    CPU
    AMD A9 Stoney Ridge Technology
    Motherboard
    HP 8312 (Socket FP4)
    Memory
    8.00GB Dual-Channel Unknown (?-0-0-0)
    Graphics Card(s)
    Generic PnP Monitor (1920x1080@60Hz) 512MB ATI AMD Radeon R5
    Sound Card
    AMD High Definition Audio Device Realtek High Definition Aud
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Generic PnP Monitor on AMD Radeon R5 Graphics
    Screen Resolution
    1920 x 1080
    Hard Drives
    119GB SanDisk SD8SN8U-128G-1006 (SSD)
    931GB Hitachi HGST HTS721010A9E630 (SATA
    Keyboard
    Standard PS/2 Keyboard
    Mouse
    Microsoft Optical Wheel Mouse
    Internet Speed
    62.86Mbps down 18.19Mbps up
    Other Info
    EPSON78D0CF (XP-332 335 Series) (Default Printer)
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