Vista Tutorial - Multiplayer AOE III games

I, too, am having problems playing a multiplayer game of AOE III. I have two laptops, both Gateways, one running Windows XP, the other running Windows Vista Home Premium 64 bit. I would like to use my wireless router (Netgear) as the go between for the two laptops. However, I have had good luck in the past using a crossover ethernet cable between two laptops (a Windows 98 to a Windows XP and also a Windows XP to Windows XP computer). No such luck using the crossover cable with Windows Vista and Windows XP. Game times out before finding game. Have tried hosting a game from each laptop, no luck. Have disabled firewalls and virus protection.

Any help would be appreciated. I'm not real computer savvy so please give me directions without all of the computereze.

Thanks in advance for your help.