Vista - Dear Tech Support... Vista is like a wife

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
noticed that Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
during
system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications
such as Poker night 10.3, Boys Night Out 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no
longer
run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0
in
the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
applications. I
am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not
work
on this program. Can you help me!!!? A TROUBLED USER

Dear TROUBLED USER:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
primary
misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the
idea
that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
program
files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0
because Wife1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install
Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than the original
system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support". I
recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest
installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software
problems. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you assume
all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of
action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case, avoid
excessive
use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
command
before the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 is a great
program,
but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve
the
performance of Wife1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. Do not,
under
any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a
supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
damage to
the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support


--
=======================================
"If you can't make it good, at least make it look good."
- Bill Gates
=======================================

An oldie, but a goodie!


"john" <john@msn.com> wrote in message
news:eYhapl9dHHA.4020@TK2MSFTNGP06.phx.gbl...
> Dear Tech Support:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
> noticed that Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
> during
> system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
> Applications
> such as Poker night 10.3, Boys Night Out 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no
> longer
> run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife
> 1.0 in
> the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
> applications. I
> am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not
> work
> on this program. Can you help me!!!? A TROUBLED USER
>
> Dear TROUBLED USER:
>
> This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
> primary
> misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with
> the idea
> that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is
> an
> OPERATING SYSTEM. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
> program
> files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
> 7.0
> because Wife1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install
> Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than the
> original
> system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support". I
> recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest
> installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate
> software
> problems. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you
> assume all
> responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course
> of
> action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case, avoid
> excessive
> use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
> command
> before the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 is a great
> program,
> but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve
> the
> performance of Wife1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. Do not,
> under
> any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a
> supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
> damage to
> the operating system.
>
> Best of luck,
>
> Tech Support
>
>
> --
> =======================================
> "If you can't make it good, at least make it look good."
> - Bill Gates
> =======================================
>

Your analogies made this one hard to read.
--
Andre
Blog: http://adacosta.spaces.live.com
My Vista Quickstart Guide:
http://adacosta.spaces.live.com/blog...3DB!9709.entry
"john" <john@msn.com> wrote in message
news:eYhapl9dHHA.4020@TK2MSFTNGP06.phx.gbl...
> Dear Tech Support:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
> noticed that Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
> during
> system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
> Applications
> such as Poker night 10.3, Boys Night Out 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no
> longer
> run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife
> 1.0 in
> the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
> applications. I
> am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not
> work
> on this program. Can you help me!!!? A TROUBLED USER
>
> Dear TROUBLED USER:
>
> This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
> primary
> misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with
> the idea
> that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is
> an
> OPERATING SYSTEM. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
> program
> files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
> 7.0
> because Wife1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install
> Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than the
> original
> system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support". I
> recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest
> installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate
> software
> problems. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you
> assume all
> responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course
> of
> action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case, avoid
> excessive
> use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
> command
> before the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 is a great
> program,
> but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve
> the
> performance of Wife1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. Do not,
> under
> any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a
> supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
> damage to
> the operating system.
>
> Best of luck,
>
> Tech Support
>
>
> --
> =======================================
> "If you can't make it good, at least make it look good."
> - Bill Gates
> =======================================
>

Where can I get a new Wife 2.0? I'm in need of an upgrade! :-) Don't like
that new OSeX model, it's a pain in the ass... And that FreeBSlutD was a
waste of time.

--
Dustin Harper
dharper@vistarip.com
http://www.vistarip.com

--
"john" <john@msn.com> wrote in message
news:eYhapl9dHHA.4020@TK2MSFTNGP06.phx.gbl...
> Dear Tech Support:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
> noticed that Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
> during
> system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
> Applications
> such as Poker night 10.3, Boys Night Out 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no
> longer
> run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife
> 1.0 in
> the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
> applications. I
> am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not
> work
> on this program. Can you help me!!!? A TROUBLED USER
>
> Dear TROUBLED USER:
>
> This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
> primary
> misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with
> the idea
> that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is
> an
> OPERATING SYSTEM. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
> program
> files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
> 7.0
> because Wife1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install
> Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than the
> original
> system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support". I
> recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest
> installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate
> software
> problems. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you
> assume all
> responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course
> of
> action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case, avoid
> excessive
> use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
> command
> before the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 is a great
> program,
> but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve
> the
> performance of Wife1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. Do not,
> under
> any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a
> supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
> damage to
> the operating system.
>
> Best of luck,
>
> Tech Support
>
>
> --
> =======================================
> "If you can't make it good, at least make it look good."
> - Bill Gates
> =======================================
>

On Thu, 5 Apr 2007 18:21:23 -0700, "Dustin Harper"
<dharper@vistarip.com> wrote:

>Where can I get a new Wife 2.0?

Don't know where, but get a business version so she can work.

Vista is like a whale


"john" <john@msn.com> wrote in message
news:eYhapl9dHHA.4020@TK2MSFTNGP06.phx.gbl...
> Dear Tech Support:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
> noticed that Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
> during
> system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
> Applications
> such as Poker night 10.3, Boys Night Out 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no
> longer
> run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife
> 1.0 in
> the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
> applications. I
> am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not
> work
> on this program. Can you help me!!!? A TROUBLED USER
>
> Dear TROUBLED USER:
>
> This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
> primary
> misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with
> the idea
> that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is
> an
> OPERATING SYSTEM. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
> program
> files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
> 7.0
> because Wife1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install
> Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than the
> original
> system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support". I
> recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest
> installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate
> software
> problems. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you
> assume all
> responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course
> of
> action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case, avoid
> excessive
> use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
> command
> before the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 is a great
> program,
> but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve
> the
> performance of Wife1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. Do not,
> under
> any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a
> supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
> damage to
> the operating system.
>
> Best of luck,
>
> Tech Support
>
>
> --
> =======================================
> "If you can't make it good, at least make it look good."
> - Bill Gates
> =======================================
>

I'd like the Ultimate, cause maybe the Ultimate Extras would be worth it. If
they ever show up. Might have to turn off the DRM, cause I don't like her
spying (gotta have trust!), and the UAC has got to go, cause I don't like
the constant nagging.

Damn, Vista would make a terrible Woman!

--
Dustin Harper
dharper@vistarip.com
http://www.vistarip.com

--
"Adam Albright" <AA@ABC.net> wrote in message
news:vs9b13dlifumvfmiab4frv19u6r1fu75ef@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 5 Apr 2007 18:21:23 -0700, "Dustin Harper"
> <dharper@vistarip.com> wrote:
>
>>Where can I get a new Wife 2.0?
>
> Don't know where, but get a business version so she can work.
>
>

On Thu, 5 Apr 2007 19:11:24 -0700, "Dustin Harper"
<dharper@vistarip.com> wrote:

>I'd like the Ultimate, cause maybe the Ultimate Extras would be worth it. If
>they ever show up. Might have to turn off the DRM, cause I don't like her
>spying (gotta have trust!), and the UAC has got to go, cause I don't like
>the constant nagging.
>
>Damn, Vista would make a terrible Woman!

A little head strong. <wink>

Why not Enterprise? She just gets to the point! LOL!
--
Andre
Blog: http://adacosta.spaces.live.com
My Vista Quickstart Guide:
http://adacosta.spaces.live.com/blog...3DB!9709.entry
"Dustin Harper" <dharper@vistarip.com> wrote in message
news:622DFB4D-7E71-4343-9D83-38C235AE424B@microsoft.com...
> I'd like the Ultimate, cause maybe the Ultimate Extras would be worth it.
> If they ever show up. Might have to turn off the DRM, cause I don't like
> her spying (gotta have trust!), and the UAC has got to go, cause I don't
> like the constant nagging.
>
> Damn, Vista would make a terrible Woman!
>
> --
> Dustin Harper
> dharper@vistarip.com
> http://www.vistarip.com
>
> --
> "Adam Albright" <AA@ABC.net> wrote in message
> news:vs9b13dlifumvfmiab4frv19u6r1fu75ef@4ax.com...
>> On Thu, 5 Apr 2007 18:21:23 -0700, "Dustin Harper"
>> <dharper@vistarip.com> wrote:
>>
>>>Where can I get a new Wife 2.0?
>>
>> Don't know where, but get a business version so she can work.
>>
>>
>

Powerful and graceful huh?
--
Andre
Blog: http://adacosta.spaces.live.com
My Vista Quickstart Guide:
http://adacosta.spaces.live.com/blog...3DB!9709.entry
"kirk jim" <11@11.11> wrote in message
news:uGELeD$dHHA.1868@TK2MSFTNGP04.phx.gbl...
> Vista is like a whale
>
>
> "john" <john@msn.com> wrote in message
> news:eYhapl9dHHA.4020@TK2MSFTNGP06.phx.gbl...
>> Dear Tech Support:
>> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
>> noticed that Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
>> launches during
>> system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
>> Applications
>> such as Poker night 10.3, Boys Night Out 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no
>> longer
>> run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife
>> 1.0 in
>> the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
>> applications. I
>> am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does
>> not work
>> on this program. Can you help me!!!? A TROUBLED USER
>>
>> Dear TROUBLED USER:
>>
>> This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
>> primary
>> misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with
>> the idea
>> that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is
>> an
>> OPERATING SYSTEM. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
>> program
>> files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
>> 7.0
>> because Wife1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install
>> Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than the
>> original
>> system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support". I
>> recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest
>> installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate
>> software
>> problems. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you
>> assume all
>> responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course
>> of
>> action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case, avoid
>> excessive
>> use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
>> command
>> before the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 is a great
>> program,
>> but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to
>> improve the
>> performance of Wife1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. Do not,
>> under
>> any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a
>> supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
>> damage to
>> the operating system.
>>
>> Best of luck,
>>
>> Tech Support
>>
>>
>> --
>> =======================================
>> "If you can't make it good, at least make it look good."
>> - Bill Gates
>> =======================================
>>
>
>