Vista - Warning signs of Ubuntu Addiction

Addicition to Ubuntu is an insideous and dangerous disease that plagues the
fringes of our society, threatening more and more every day to spill over
the fringe and flood the common man with free stuff. But the vigilant and
upright citizens of the world can rest assured the warning signs are easy to
spot once you know what to look for.

Ubuntu addicts exhibit many strange habits for working professional such as:

Owning computers for ten or more years with out complaining of the computer
"slowing down"!

Expanding IT operations at staggering rates with little to no capital or
credit!

Carrying around hand labelled "live CD's" that they claim aren't pirated
programs!

Developing top notch software even though you know for a fact they never
paid for development software!

Long hair!

Never complaining about unwanted desktop popups!

Smiling for no apparent reason when the casual conversation turns to high
cost of MS licensing!

Claiming to have access to photoshop quality photo tools that are free!

Scruffy beards and 'very' casual clothes!

Snickering when network engineers talk about IIS and Exchange problems!

Instead of cowering in the corner on "black Tuesday", they look happy and
relaxed!

It is also important to be on the lookout for the following Ubuntu
parapheniela:

Large CD and DVD libraries of "distros" that go by the names, "Slackware,
Morphix, Fedora, Gentoo, Musix, Debian, Ubuntu, SUSE, Mepis, Slax, CentOS,
Vector, Xandros, Linspire, DSL, Knoppix..."

Tubular objects that are partially filled with water and smell like dirty,
wet socks.

Computers that never freeze and never seem to need restarting.

An excessive amount of computer hardware that obviously couldn't support any
modern OS.
Stuffed penguins.