Well am I having fun! I took your advice and clicked the "I think someone else is using my account" One of the questions was if I was using adwords and I am so I clicked yes, and answered some questions about my adwords campaigns and sent it off. I got a reply from google adwords and was able to log in to that but my gmail still wouldn't work. So I replied to the email I got from them and they sent a reply back saying that they could only help with adwords, I would have to contact gmail to get help with that.
I can't believe their system. It was in the gmail section that I started the process and I ended up with the adwords help!!
So now I have gone back and started again and when it asks do I use adwords with my account I said no and got to a page where I had to fill out info about my gmail account - which was difficult because you have to give 5 email addresses of people that you email from gmail frequently. I found that difficult for two reasons, one I can't get in to gmail to have a look at my address file and two, I don't email many people I only receive messages. Anyway, I managed to put the addresses in and have sent the form off. So hopefully I'll get a reply in about 24 hours or so.
I used to like Gmail but I've been turned right off it now.
Thanks barman58 for the tip about someone using the account, that was just what I needed.