Vista - java red x

cant get java to work every site i need to got that requires java only shows a red x..i did the "do i have java" on thier website and it says i do.. but when i go to test it i still get the red x.. i followed the "enable java through your web browser" option but when i get to step 2 there is no java option..
then when i try option 2.."Enable Java through the "Java Plug-in Control Panel" when i get to step 4 the box marked internet explorer is grayed out and checked...i found some suggestions saying i have to run the java control panel as administartor but when i right click the icon in the control panel the only options are to "open" or "create shortcut"
i have windows vista home premium edition 32bit service pack 1
and java version 6 update 13

i posted request for help on techsupportguy here is a link so u guys can see what ive done so far

java red x - Tech Support Guy Forums