VOTED BEST AUSSIE JOKE OF THE YEAR – 2008..........
A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off Cairns on the Great Barrier Reef . He reports the event to the local Queensland Police, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night at home alone, wondering what could have happened to her.
Early the next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen..... there’s a crusty old Sarge and a younger Constable.
The Sarge says...., “G’day Mate! We have some news for you,.....unfortunately some really bad news, but..... some good news,....... and maybe some even better good news”.
“Well,” says the bloke, “I guess I'd better have the bad news first - eh?”
The Sarge says, “Mate...I'm really, really sorry Mate, but your wife is dead..... Young Bill here found her lying stuck at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up...... but Mate...... she was dead.”
The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he composes himself, pulls himself together and asks, “ So what the hell is the good news then –eh?”
“Well Mate,” says the crusty old Sarge, “Mate, when we got your wife back up on the deck, there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so Mate ...... we've brought you your share."
And with that, he hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of large crays and half a dozen nice live crabs in it.
And the bloke looks in the bag and says “Geez, thanks Mate!......You’re a cracker, and they're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that....... So what in hell could possibly be even better good news - eh?”
“Well Mate”, says the Sarge, “if you fancy a quick trip later on, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock, and we're gonna shoot over there to the reef,and pull her up again!’’
A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off Cairns on the Great Barrier Reef . He reports the event to the local Queensland Police, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night at home alone, wondering what could have happened to her.
Early the next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen..... there’s a crusty old Sarge and a younger Constable.
The Sarge says...., “G’day Mate! We have some news for you,.....unfortunately some really bad news, but..... some good news,....... and maybe some even better good news”.
“Well,” says the bloke, “I guess I'd better have the bad news first - eh?”
The Sarge says, “Mate...I'm really, really sorry Mate, but your wife is dead..... Young Bill here found her lying stuck at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up...... but Mate...... she was dead.”
The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he composes himself, pulls himself together and asks, “ So what the hell is the good news then –eh?”
“Well Mate,” says the crusty old Sarge, “Mate, when we got your wife back up on the deck, there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so Mate ...... we've brought you your share."
And with that, he hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of large crays and half a dozen nice live crabs in it.
And the bloke looks in the bag and says “Geez, thanks Mate!......You’re a cracker, and they're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that....... So what in hell could possibly be even better good news - eh?”
“Well Mate”, says the Sarge, “if you fancy a quick trip later on, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock, and we're gonna shoot over there to the reef,and pull her up again!’’
My Computer
System One
-
- Manufacturer/Model
- Acer Aspire Notebook 5633WLMi.[5630 Series]
- CPU
- Intel Centrino Duo Processor - Intel Core 2 CPU.
- Memory
- 4GB DDR2 [3.07GB maximum real available]
- Graphics card(s)
- nVidia GeForce Go 7300, 128MB
- Sound Card
- Realtek HD Audio, Ver. 6.0.1.5717, 2.08MB
- Monitor(s) Displays
- Acer Aspire Notebook - 15.4"; Acer LCD Monitor X223Wsd - 22".
- Screen Resolution
- 1280x800x60Hertz [max.]
- Hard Drives
- Notebook - Samsung HM320JI 320GB HD installed 07 August 2009. External HDs [4];Maxtor One Touch4 - 500GB External HD [Drive M:\].Western Digital WDXMS1200TA - 120GB External HD [Drive G:\ - Windows Defender Backup Files only]. Two x LaCie 320GB Mobi
- Mouse
- Logitech Wireless V320 for Notebooks - Model M/N: M-RCD125
- Internet Speed
- Down 20000kb/sec / Up 1000kb/sec [Bigpond-Aus]
- Other Info
- Brother MFC-465CN; PC to Fax/Scan/Copy/Photo MFC. Epson Perfection V300 Photo Scanner. Siemens Speedstream 6520 Router. Wacom 'Bamboo Fun' CTE-650 PC Tablet, Stylus and Mouse. UAC - On;Activated. Browsers; [1] FireFox v3.6[2] IE8. Honorary R.S.M. to the 4th [Assault Pioneer] Troop Pune Sepoys , and 3rd Troop Jodhpur Bengali Lancers.
LOL awesome!
