No headache needed: 46% of women choose Internet over sex

[Dwarf]

It was the negotiations with the Death Angel to get him back here that cost me more, I promised him 12 Blondes.

Only 12?! I had heard that the going rate was 144! Now, that IS gross!

 

[echrada]

And I thought that I was the demented soul around here...LMAO:D

 

[sassofalco]

Blondes, Lawyers, QCs, Judges, Bald heads, Wigs, Punative sentences, Hanging, Death Angel........enough already yet!!

I'll face the challenge! Just give me the Redhead and her sack of puppies....I'm outta here!!

 

[Dwarf]

Sorry, but the Redhead turned out to be a blonde instead. The pups were WHITE when they went in the bag, but as soon as she went in, they changed colour to RED as the blonde thought that it would be a good idea to dye her hair using PAINT (well, she thought it looked good on her walls, having used her hair as the paintbrush)! Unfortunately, she brushed all of the paint onto the pups!
This is what the pups looked like before and what they look like now:
View attachment 8694

 

[NormCameron]

Good to have you back. Be nice and behave. This is a serious threadf. Echrada is busy preparing his defence.

This news just in. The Judge is a BLONDE!

I think I know that judge. Known as the "Hanging Judge". Can I have your Haggis and bagpipes, Les

View attachment 8696
Here Come Da Judge!
​

 

[echrada]

Absolutely not! How could you even think that I would allow them to hang me so close to Hogmanay.

There is still a lot of drinking, eathing and frolicking to be done! That includes a blonde or two

 

[Joan Archer]

I'll shall definitely end up with a headache if you lot don't stop making me laugh so much

 

[sassofalco]

And I thought that I was the demented soul around here...LMAO:D

Good to have you back. Be nice and behave. This is a serious threadf. Echrada is busy preparing his defence.

This news just in. The Judge is a BLONDE!

I think I know that judge. Known as the "Hanging Judge". Can I have your Haggis and bagpipes, Les

Absolutely not! How could you even think that I would allow them to hang me so close to Hogmanay.

There is still a lot of drinking, eathing and frolicking to be done! That includes a blonde or two

I'll shall definitely end up with a headache if you lot don't stop making me laugh so much

.................and this all reminds me of the Pharmacist who was busy in his shop near the Scottish borders one day, when a large, grizzly and brawny man, dressed in the regalia and kilt of a well known Scottish Regiment, entered his shop.

The man swaggered up to the counter and reaching into his jacket pocket, pulled from it, a very old, crinkled and worn prophylactic, which he then dropped onto the counter. Pointing at the horrible looking item and looking the Pharmacist in the eye he bellows,

'Canna ye see thus mun?'

The Pharmacist nodded quickly and replied,

'Yes Sir, indeed I can, and to me it has all the appearances of a very old and well used prophylactic, and may I further observe, one which I would consider has outlasted any future useful purpose.'

The man bellowed in response,

'Ah nay want yer observations mun! Canna ye fux ut?'

With that, the Pharmacist using the pointed end of his pencil, eased it under the offensive looking thing and gently raised it to the light. As he turned it this way and that, he saw that it was also riddled with holes.

'Well mun! Canna ye fux ut or nay?' the man bellowed again.

The Pharmacist placed the prophylactic back on the counter, and after a long silent pause of deep thought, as both men considered it, he replied,

'Sir, this is a challenge that I have never ever faced before, but as I note your anxiety in having this, this, this thing repaired, then I do believe that I can indeed have it fixed for you.'

'Great mun!' bellowed the man, 'Ahhh. But what's the cost?'

'That Sir, will cost you 85 pence to have it fixed and fully restored!'replied the Pharmacist.

And with that, the man snatched the prophylactic from the counter and stuffed it back into his jacket pocket, glared at the Pharmacist, and without another word, turned on his heels and left the shop.


Five weeks later, the Pharmacist was working at the shop counter when the same man in the same Scottish Regimental kilt, charged through the door, and stood before him again.

'Canna ye remember me Laddie?' bellows the man.

'Of course Sir' replied the Pharmacist, 'You attended quite some time ago with regard to a proposal to fix and restore a rather sorry looking and well worn prophylactic, to a further useful state of repair. Correct?'

'Aye Laddie, good mun. But canna ye recall the COST ye quoted?' the man bellowed.

'How could I forget?' the Pharmacist replied 'I seem to remember most vividly that I did mention at one point, an outlay from you of 85 pence to fix, repair and restore the tatty prophylactic, that you presented at that time.'

'So!' bellowed the man, 'It's still 85p for the same?'

'Absolutely no change.' said the Pharmacist.

With that, the man takes the same old, crinkled, holed and worn prophylactic again from his jacket pocket, and slaps it down on the counter in front of the Pharmacist.

'Right mun!' he beams,..............
'The Regiment accepts yer tender!!!'

 

[echrada]

Aye, and proud to be Scottish and all that.:D

 

[eggyuk]

I was standing in the queue to get into a club with a blond friend of mine. When we get to the front of the queue, the bouncer turns to my friend and goes "are you an airplane blond" (black box and all that). She took offence at it and floored the bouncer with a right hook. Needless to say we didnt get into the club and i never found out whether she was an airplane blond or not but i now have a new respect of her

 

[NormCameron]

i was standing in the queue to get into a club with a blond friend of mine. When we get to the front of the queue, the bouncer turns to my friend and goes "are you an airplane blond" (black box and all that). She took offence at it and floored the bouncer with a right hook. Needless to say we didnt get into the club and i never found out whether she was an airplane blond or not but i now have a new respect of her

lmao

 

[echrada]

You wouldn't be if you were the bouncer!

 

[kairu10]

lol

 

[Simbamoja]

I'm an old goat with poor memory, It was ages ago I think I posted a message I'm surprised it is still going but thanks for the up date, sorry I don't have much to say, my computer knowledge is not all that good, I'm still a pup in that department LOL.

 

[Simbamoja]

Hay Norm, let me know who the blode is and I'll find out for you, I would like to do that for a friend

 

[smarteyeball]

lol

 

[NormCameron]

Hay Norm, let me know who the blode is and I'll find out for you, I would like to do that for a friend

David, you've gotta be bored! Aren't you supposed to be fixing that PC, the one that needs a new CPU fan?

Norm

 

[Simbamoja]

I much prefer to help a mate out than worry about a CPU fan, how else are you going to find out if she is an airplane blond, I'll leave the computers to you and I will play with the blond any time

 

[NormCameron]

Simbamoja with the airplane Blonde.

Norm

 

[Simbamoja]

Hahahahha Good one Norm