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US Veterans

Techymike

not so newbie
Power User
Messages
212
Location
CA due to work but miss Texas!
#1
Is there any other Veterans that has to deal with the issues of taking lives and wondering about the families and children that were left behind by your actions? This time of year is very hard for me. I know we fought for freedom but at who's cost? Ordered to travel to far away nations tand do what we have to in order to survive. When we return home we can't talk about what we did. This world we live in is not a peaceful one. Yesterday I drove by a cometary and counted less graves then what I took in the gulf war. This effected me in a bad way as I was with my family, two small sons. I cried and they did not know why, I could not bring myself to tell my wife. Today I feel ashamed of what I have done for freedom. Taking a life is not that easy as some might think. Taking many is even harder.
 

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Bare Foot Kid

R.I.P. August 13th 2014
Messages
2,616
Location
The Lowcountry
#2
I sent you a PM, I hope you don't mind!






















Later :shock: Ted
 

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#3
I'm sure that every veteran has.... But when you do you also have to think about what you were protecting........
 

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JMH

Banned
Messages
2,141
#4
I feel for you & share your pain. Written history claims there are winners & losers. It's not so clear cut. Scant mention is made of the many humans left surviving in a living hell, deprived of loved ones & wondering about what might have been. I'm sure you are not alone with your thoughts.
It may prove to be therapeutic to be able to voice your feelings in an anonymous area such as our Chillout room.
You are right, we don't live in a peaceful world . But looking at man's history on this planet it has ever been so.
My thoughts are with you.
 

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truthkid

Tactless SOB
Power User
Messages
260
Location
Tikrit, Iraq
#5
I find that I can't get caught up in the emotional baggage that comes with doing your duty as a soldier/marine/airman/seaman. War is ugly, but all of us service members took a vow to say we would follow the legal orders given by our superiors. Sure, there's probably some children in Iraq whom's families have suffered because of things I've done, but if one were to focus on that you'd probably drive yourself insane. Stalin said (hang in there before you call me nuts) one death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic. The morale of what he's saying, don't make it personal and you'll find yourself sleeping much easier at night. I find that my more spiritually grounded soldier's have wrestled harder with the reality that we may very well end someone's appearance on Earth. I can't possibly imagine how the birthdate of our country would be anything but a celebration of our accomplishments. All nations have something to be proud of, and while I don't agree with my role in the war in Iraq, I chose to serve our country, not myself. As long as I keep getting legal orders, it is my obligation and duty to perform. I'm tempted to insert my own political commentary about fighting for "our freedom" but better judgement is going to stop me dead in my tracks.
 

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lordbob75

Lord of Bobs
Vista Pro
Gold Member
Messages
1,676
Location
In my Fortress
#6
Techymike, we all thank you for your service. The sacrifice all of our soldiers have made is something we can never repay.

I cannot even think of how to phrase what I want to say.... Erhm....

Anyway. I have not served in the Militry (yet?) so I don't really know how you feel. All I can say is that Truthkid has a point. Try to get out the feelings you have, share them with your Wife. Believe me, just venting and sharing can really help.

I am not sure if this is the right spot to put it, but I was thinking of joining the Marines (or trying, Army would be second choice, AF third) either before College, or after. If I do before they might pay for it..... hmmmm.....
I am not entirely sure why I want to join, but I know that I want to have contributed something important into the world before I die. I don't want kids (yeah I know), so it will be something else. I think that part of it is a death wish, and I am just crazy enough for that to be true......

~Lordbob
 

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truthkid

Tactless SOB
Power User
Messages
260
Location
Tikrit, Iraq
#7
Techymike, we all thank you for your service. The sacrifice all of our soldiers have made is something we can never repay.

I cannot even think of how to phrase what I want to say.... Erhm....

Anyway. I have not served in the Militry (yet?) so I don't really know how you feel. All I can say is that Truthkid has a point. Try to get out the feelings you have, share them with your Wife. Believe me, just venting and sharing can really help.

I am not sure if this is the right spot to put it, but I was thinking of joining the Marines (or trying, Army would be second choice, AF third) either before College, or after. If I do before they might pay for it..... hmmmm.....
I am not entirely sure why I want to join, but I know that I want to have contributed something important into the world before I die. I don't want kids (yeah I know), so it will be something else. I think that part of it is a death wish, and I am just crazy enough for that to be true......

~Lordbob
Contrary to what all the mental health counselors will tell vets, I think venting has done more harm then good for me. The only people who understand the truth of combat are those who have been there. I tell my wife damn near everything, but save my breath when it comes to my deployments. She's never watched someone die or taken a life, so it's like speaking Farsi to a German. I started to vent, and then I got depressed, then I started to drink, which would case me to vent more, which would raise more questions, which would cause me to become more depressed, etc...

I shut my mouth and have been fine ever since, it's not about individual perils or achievements, its bigger then any individual effort.
 

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    Logitech MX Revolution
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    Running SUSE, Solaris, Kalyware, and BSD through vmware whenever the mood strikes

lordbob75

Lord of Bobs
Vista Pro
Gold Member
Messages
1,676
Location
In my Fortress
#8
Techymike, we all thank you for your service. The sacrifice all of our soldiers have made is something we can never repay.

I cannot even think of how to phrase what I want to say.... Erhm....

Anyway. I have not served in the Militry (yet?) so I don't really know how you feel. All I can say is that Truthkid has a point. Try to get out the feelings you have, share them with your Wife. Believe me, just venting and sharing can really help.

I am not sure if this is the right spot to put it, but I was thinking of joining the Marines (or trying, Army would be second choice, AF third) either before College, or after. If I do before they might pay for it..... hmmmm.....
I am not entirely sure why I want to join, but I know that I want to have contributed something important into the world before I die. I don't want kids (yeah I know), so it will be something else. I think that part of it is a death wish, and I am just crazy enough for that to be true......

~Lordbob
Contrary to what all the mental health counselors will tell vets, I think venting has done more harm then good for me. The only people who understand the truth of combat are those who have been there. I tell my wife damn near everything, but save my breath when it comes to my deployments. She's never watched someone die or taken a life, so it's like speaking Farsi to a German. I started to vent, and then I got depressed, then I started to drink, which would case me to vent more, which would raise more questions, which would cause me to become more depressed, etc...

I shut my mouth and have been fine ever since, it's not about individual perils or achievements, its bigger then any individual effort.
I think a lot of that depends on the individual, but you are right about understanding combat.

~Lordbob
 

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    Custom
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    Intel Core 2 Quad Q8200 2.33GHz
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    ASUS P5QC
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truthkid

Tactless SOB
Power User
Messages
260
Location
Tikrit, Iraq
#9
yeah some of my peers that were there for our first deployment have benefited greatly from counseling, I've always been the self medicated type. I also found that leaving the infantry and getting a nice network job also helps avoid future moral dilemmas. Instead of wondering if I'm going to pull the trigger I wonder if someone is going to peak our bandwidth at a critical time and ruin someone important's day.
 

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    Logitech MX Revolution
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    Satalite :-(
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    Running SUSE, Solaris, Kalyware, and BSD through vmware whenever the mood strikes

JimJoe

Vista Guru
Messages
1,172
#11
Is there any other Veterans that has to deal with the issues of taking lives and wondering about the families and children that were left behind by your actions? This time of year is very hard for me. I know we fought for freedom but at who's cost? Ordered to travel to far away nations tand do what we have to in order to survive. When we return home we can't talk about what we did. This world we live in is not a peaceful one. Yesterday I drove by a cometary and counted less graves then what I took in the gulf war. This effected me in a bad way as I was with my family, two small sons. I cried and they did not know why, I could not bring myself to tell my wife. Today I feel ashamed of what I have done for freedom. Taking a life is not that easy as some might think. Taking many is even harder.
Sometimes there are no choices, but to fight and survive. You should talk about it as it will help, over time, to ease the pain.

I was never in combat, but I talk about the time my ship went to pick up survivors of an ASW ( anti-submarine warefare) aircraft that had crashed. We found remains of 1 of the 7 people on board. That haunted me until I made the firm decision to not allow it to haunt my dreams. And to talk about it. Some of my relatives, who have masters degrees and licenses in Counseling, said I did the best thing I could. Bottling it up is bad.

Those who have never been in similar circumstances will never know what you feel, but they will try to understand. And that is a good positive thing.

I chose to write a poem about what I went through.

And don't ever let anyone tell you men don't cry. Men have no problem with tears, happy or sad ones. I learned some years ago the people who had tried to make me keep my emotions bottled up were wrong.

Good Luck !

edit: fixed some typos.
 

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    1 terabyte sata in 1 partition
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    fans that came with it
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    basic USB
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    basic USB
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    3 megabits on a cable modem, wired
#12
Techymike, we all thank you for your service. The sacrifice all of our soldiers have made is something we can never repay.

~Lordbob
+1 to that......
because of men and women like you..... we are still a free nation (well........... not so much anymore...... more like a socialist republic) but if it wasn't for what you and your fellow soldiers have done..... us kids might not have the freedoms we have today and we thank you :)
 

My Computer

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    Acer, Aspire M1201\Custom Build
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    2x2gb Patriot Viper DDR2 PC6400 @ 800mhz Dual Channel SLI Edition (4-4-4-12)
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    ATI HD3870 with 512mb GDDR4
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    22" Acer X223 Widescreen
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    1680 X 1050
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    320gb Western Digital SATA II (Ubuntu 9.10)
    500gb Seagate SATA II
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    ULTRA X3 600 Watt Modular
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    1x 135mm In PSU, 1x 70mm On CPU, And 1x 120mm On GPU
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    Microsoft Sidewinder X6
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Tstright

Member
Power User
Messages
179
Location
Maryland
#13
Techymike, we all thank you for your service. The sacrifice all of our soldiers have made is something we can never repay.

~Lordbob
+1 to that......
because of men and women like you..... we are still a free nation (well........... not so much anymore...... more like a socialist republic) but if it wasn't for what you and your fellow soldiers have done..... us kids might not have the freedoms we have today and we thank you :)
I disagree with the Socialist comment.

But then we fought so you can have an opinion.
 

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    HP
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    Intel Core Duo T5750@2.0GHz
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pacinitaly

HappyGuru Lovin2Help
Vista Guru
Messages
1,396
Location
worst state in America
#14
Techymike,


My family, friends and I thank you for our freedom.

Please feel what you were told to do was for all of our benefit.
God forgives you and has blessed you with two beautiful children. Teach them the same love you have in your heart and all will be well.



May God Bless and watch over YOU, YOUR family and ALL our troops.



~Carmine
 

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    gateway/m6881
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    centrino core 2 duo 2.2ghz T7500
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    500GB WD
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    logitech
    Internet Speed
    fios 35MB not!!!!
#15
Techymike, we all thank you for your service. The sacrifice all of our soldiers have made is something we can never repay.

~Lordbob
+1 to that......
because of men and women like you..... we are still a free nation (well........... not so much anymore...... more like a socialist republic) but if it wasn't for what you and your fellow soldiers have done..... us kids might not have the freedoms we have today and we thank you :)
I disagree with the Socialist comment.

But then we fought so you can have an opinion.
well..... just look at the current views of our president..... they are ALL socialist views
 

My Computer

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  • Manufacturer/Model
    Acer, Aspire M1201\Custom Build
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    320gb Western Digital SATA II (Ubuntu 9.10)
    500gb Seagate SATA II
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    ULTRA X3 600 Watt Modular
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    NZXT Tempest (The Airflow King) 2x 140mm Fans, 4x 120mm Fans
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    1x 135mm In PSU, 1x 70mm On CPU, And 1x 120mm On GPU
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    Microsoft Sidewinder X5
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    Microsoft Sidewinder X6
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    6 Mbs Down 1 Mbs Up
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    AVerMedia 1500MCE TV Tuner
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truthkid

Tactless SOB
Power User
Messages
260
Location
Tikrit, Iraq
#16
Just to put it out there, because it's something I hold near and dear to my heart:

Wars/Conflict/Police actions that the US engages in are not protecting our freedoms and liberties, and people love to throw the idea that we're fighting for America to rally up faux patriotism. It works, look at what happened after September 11th. The Korean War, Vietnam, Iraq/Iranian War, Afghani/Soviet War, these are all puppet wars. It's a delicate mix of preventive conflict, deception, and a "whose dick is bigger" contest. When one power challenges our rights granted to us by our Constitution/Bill of Rights, THAT is when we fight for our freedoms. Liberating foreign nations from dictators is exactly that, foreign aid in the form of military support. Let's not kid ourselves and pretend that a bunch of militants in an economically crippled corner of the world were ACTUALLY declaring war on our freedom. Their assymetric attacks were a huge "GO **** YOURSELF" message that resulted in absolutely unacceptable loss of life. The only attack on our freedom, and this can be argued due to the nature of politics, is when the right to a fair and speedy trial was suppressed if one was suspected of terrorism, or cruel and unusual punishment was authorized when torture memos started flying around. Let's not be ignorant and live in a fantasy world.

So why am I in the military if I don't think we're actually defending America? Our military strength needs to be known and maintained, as it deters more aggression towards us then if we had a weak military and acted the way we do. There will always be terrorism, I'm sure we all remember bullies from grade school, and if a child is able to scare/inflict pain on others for personal gain/self gratification, then it just shows that human nature isn't as loving as some people like to pretend. And with our current war against terrorism, more specifically Al Qaeda and the insurgencies who are modeled in a similar fashion, you can't win an asymmetric war. Guerilla tactics will be successful as long as there are people who are willing to die for the cause.

End Rant
 

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    Sager NG2096
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    Samsung PN50A550
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    Primary 1680 X 1050, Secondary 1920 X 1080
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    Logitech MX Revolution
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    Satalite :-(
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    Running SUSE, Solaris, Kalyware, and BSD through vmware whenever the mood strikes

Techymike

not so newbie
Power User
Messages
212
Location
CA due to work but miss Texas!
#17
Thanks for all the kind words. Very good and sound advice.

What hit me was the loss of a good friend last week who I served with. He was struck down on a mission. His wife called me and told me the news.
I normally just ignore the people that say and protest the Military. I took the family out for the 4th and for the first time I actually payed attention and listened, then saw how some so called Americans enjoy the freedom and have never wondered ove the cost either from friend or foe. I can't explain why this took such a toll but it did. I am fine and feel lucky to be here with such a great Family that God has blessed me with. I did not say or take any action but kept it bottled up inside. On the way home we passed the funeral home and I simply started counting grave stones. It wasn't that large as it had but just over a hundred graves. It made me think. My wife is from Thailand and she knows of my Military background. She has seen me take on 6 Muslims in Phuket back in 2003 while doing the paperwork to bring her to the US.
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Home made
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    Intel i7 920 Broomfield-Not overclocked
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    Gigabyte X58-UD4P
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    12 Gig Corsair Dominator Triple Channel 1600 DDR3
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    Sapphire 3870 X2 - Just the one now
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    Creative Blaster X-FI Titanium Optical to Yamaha Receiver
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    Panasonic 50 inch Plasma via HDMI and used as just a Monitor
    Screen Resolution
    1920x1080
    Hard Drives
    Sata Seagate 750 Gig 32MB for the Vista 64 bit and second drive is Sata 300 Gig for extra storage.
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    Cooler Master 1000
    Case
    Antec 900 extra fans
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    Cooler Master Hyper-N520
    Mouse
    MX 5000 Logitech
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    MX 5000 Logitech
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    Cable 12MBPS
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    LG GGW-H20 Blue Ray writer running with Cyberlink Ultra 9. Home Theater system through Yamaha 7.1 Receiver connected to 11 Def Tech speakers, including powered Def Tech 15 inch sub. What can I say I like movies! Not much of a gamer.

JMH

Banned
Messages
2,141
#18
Thanks for all the kind words. Very good and sound advice.

What hit me was the loss of a good friend last week who I served with. He was struck down on a mission. His wife called me and told me the news.
I normally just ignore the people that say and protest the Military. I took the family out for the 4th and for the first time I actually payed attention and listened, then saw how some so called Americans enjoy the freedom and have never wondered ove the cost either from friend or foe. I can't explain why this took such a toll but it did. I am fine and feel lucky to be here with such a great Family that God has blessed me with. I did not say or take any action but kept it bottled up inside. On the way home we passed the funeral home and I simply started counting grave stones. It wasn't that large as it had but just over a hundred graves. It made me think. My wife is from Thailand and she knows of my Military background. She has seen me take on 6 Muslims in Phuket back in 2003 while doing the paperwork to bring her to the US.
Good to hear from you again. Enjoy & look after your young family. You also have some virtual friends here to "speak" with as you see fit.
God bless.
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    LAPTOP. HP Pavilion dv7-1005TX .
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    IntelCore 2DuoT8300@2.4GHz x2
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    4.00 GB installed, max capacity 8 GB.
    Graphics Card(s)
    Nvidia GeForce 9600M GT & 512MB DDR2 dedicated graphics mem.
    Monitor(s) Displays
    17.0" diagonal WXGA + High definition brightview widescreen infinity display.
    Screen Resolution
    1440 x 900
    Hard Drives
    SPECS.
    Drive 1. 298.09 GB Fujitzu MHZ2320BH G2 ATA Device
    Drive 2. [ All as above.]

    CONFIG. C:\287.65 GB, D:\298.09 GB, E:\10.44 GB.
    Case
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JMH

Banned
Messages
2,141
#19
There will always be terrorism, I'm sure we all remember bullies from grade school, and if a child is able to scare/inflict pain on others for personal gain/self gratification, then it just shows that human nature isn't as loving as some people like to pretend.
Guerilla tactics will be successful as long as there are people who are willing to die for the cause.

End Rant
That was a terrific rant.
The reality is - as long as there are 2 humans left on this earth there will be "warfare". The human condition is such that one will try to dominate the other by which ever means he / she can.
 

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JimJoe

Vista Guru
Messages
1,172
#20
What I think some protestors don't realize is that in a dictatorship like China they wouldn't be allowed to protest.

I do believe anyone has the right to peacably protest government policies on anything.

Hmm... Someone came up with the idea that if anyone doesn't want to live where they are protected by police and the US military, a region in the US could be carved out. And they live there for a year. Once a year, after they move there, they can ask to be let out and go back to areas where they do get police protection. Not saying prison, a large area, like a section of a state. Say, one-third of Wyoming.

I think dumping them in Somalia would be too over the top.

Have I always backed US policy ? No. have I always agreed with what all politicians do ? No.

I just think some protestors in the US have no idea what it is like in a non-democracy.
 

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